(Please excuse me for this non-writing related post. Sometimes, I just need to write my thoughts out.)
My husband and I are evaluating preschools/daycares for our boys again. The school they’re currently in, a school which we love and can afford pretty well, has a policy that kids in their 3 year old preschool class are potty trained. Minion C is completely trained; Minion M absolutely refuses to go poo in the potty.
We’ve tried everything with M. It’s not a developmental thing because he went a few times in the potty back in April/May. He just stopped. And refuses to try again. We’ve pushed him to try to go these past two months because we knew we were on a deadline, but no luck. If we want him to be in a class with kids his own age instead of the 18 month – 3 year old class, then we have to switch schools. Plus, I’m done with trying to “force” him to poo on the potty. That’s not working, so I’m stepping back and letting him decide when he’s ready. No more pressure.
I’ve visited several schools multiple times these past couple of weeks. Our two good choices are both several hundred dollars more than what we’re paying. One school has computer time, a “gym” area, and yoga class, but I don’t get the warm fuzzy feeling from that school’s teachers. I get the warm fuzzyies from the other school’s teachers, but it’s several hundred dollars more than the other school, there’s no gym (it’s freaking HOT in Texas! I’d love for them to get indoor exercise in the afternoons) and computer classes cost extra.
I really don’t want to change schools. The teachers at their current school are loving, they’ve been there for years (teacher turn over is important to me), the office staff is great, they go to computer lab twice a week, have Spanish class (90% of the class is done in Spanish) twice a week, go to the gym twice a week, and have a music class once a week. All of those are given by teachers that are there specifically for those classes. We love the playground (lots of shades, room, bikes, etc). They even have a pool! Yes, a pool! Minion C got to go swim twice a week for 15 minutes (shallow area of the pool; there’s a deeper end for private/group lessons). I’m not quite sure why their school costs less than the others when it appears to be so much better. They had a tuition hike this year, but only by about $20 a week, and since our boys are 3 and not in the baby room, we break even on that.
Ugh. So stressed about this. I keep trying to write, but then think of something else related to school stuff and get distracted. Like… we’re lucky we have this problem. In a couple of years, when we go to public kindergarten, we won’t have a choice in schools. We won’t even have a choice in teachers*. Our kids will be shoved into a class with no regard for what works better for them, or what are preferences might be.** The only way we can have a say in the school is if we sell our house and move. It’s crazy thinking of the time and thought we put into this now, knowing that, in two years, we’ll just have to be satisfied with whatever we get.
It sure would help if Minion M would tell us exactly WHEN he’s going to decide to be potty trained. If it’s one or two weeks from now, we could probably stay in the school, but we have no idea if it’ll be six days from now, or six months. Thus, the move.
I’m thinking it’ll be a temporary move. We can go back to their current school when M is fully potty trained, assuming they have room. I just worry that changing twice in a short amount of time is too much change, and that they’ll miss out on something while they’re gone.
I’m probably over-stressing about this. Whatever we do, it’ll be okay.
* There are some really, really, really awesome teachers out there! And we’re fortunate that the schools around us, especially the elementaries, are filled with great ones. But there are some bad ones out there. I know that for a fact, because I was one of them. I taught 9th grade world geography for two years, and was abysmal at it. One, geography? Boring! Two, I don’t have that drive to make kids who don’t want to learn, learn. Three, I wanted a job that ended when I went home (so I could write!), and good teachers work all the freaking time. In fact, I get pissed when people talk about how teaching is such a great gig because the kids go home by 3pm and they get the summers off. Many teachers work in the summer and, in most districts, attending a certain number of development classes is required. That doesn’t even count the planning teachers do in the summers. Or the money they spend. Heck, my mom, who taught 1st grade for around 25 years, spent a fortune on things for her kids and classroom. Seriously, a FORTUNE. And she was always working. Good teachers work their asses off.
** I’m overreacting a bit here. My area has good schools. My reasonable, level-headed self knows that, if a classroom wasn’t working out for one of my boys, the teachers and staff would do their best to find a solution that worked for everyone.
What a tough choice! I wonder, though…if he was put in the lower level class at the same school and told he could go up to the 3 year old class when he was potty trained, maybe that would be incentive? I don’t know. All I know is that Colton just decided one day to be potty trained and that was it. We had worked and worked and worked and worked, and all of a sudden, he got it. It can flip like a switch (just trying to give you hope!)
Also, have you asked him why? Sometimes they will answer and it was something you never would have thought of. Maybe he doesn’t like the color of the potty. Maybe he wants to sit on the big pot. Maybe he wants to do it outside? I don’t know what crazy things those 3 year olds come up with and get in their heads, but maybe it is something silly like that?
(Please note I’m not giving you grief or trying to tell you want to do with your own son…just putting options out there.)
Good luck!
Oops. Thought I’d responded to this, but looks like it didn’t post. We put him in the older class for a while, then moved him back to the younger one. It didn’t work. And when I ask him why or when he’ll go, he either says, “Not yet!” or won’t answer. We’ve reached a point where he’ll sometimes ask to be put in a diaper so he can go. We try sitting him on the potty, but he won’t. So, diaper is better than underwear, though most of the time, he just goes in his underwear. Yuck, yuck, yuck. We’ve just reached the point where we’re backing off. He’ll go when he chooses to go. Just wish I knew when that would be!
I also understand your pain. All 3 of my kids were not completely potty trained until after 3.
Not sure if you have made the move yet, but will they let him in the younger class with the understanding of moving him up? And maybe you could use that as an incentive to try to go potty so that he can be with the big kids? And if you know your teachers well, you can ask them to encourage him to go during the day. Our school here in Houston (used a mother’s day out at a church) didn’t really have a problem the potty training in the 3 year olds.
And finally, yes it is freakin HOT here in Texas!!!!! 😯
Yes. We did make the move. The class he’s in is okay with them not being completely trained. He could have stayed in the old school in the little kid class and then moved up when he was trained, but without knowing how long that would be, we were afraid he’d fall further and further behind his brother. He’s already a little behind, possibly because his brother is more advanced or maybe because his brother’s been in the older class for 3 months without him.
I cannot wait to move back to the old school. It had so much extra stuff and the two people in the classroom were two teachers. This new school has one teacher, and one person who’s just there to help out and meet the state minimum quota, it looks like. She’s sweet, but it would be nice if they could break the class into two groups, like at their other school.
Mother’s day out programs seem to be a lot more understanding with the potty issues. 🙂