I’ve stopped reading.
I didn’t do it on purpose, and it hasn’t stopped 100%, but I’ve only read 5.5 fiction books this year.
5.5 books.
That might as well be nothing.
I feel like I’ve lost a huge part of what makes me me. Like a lot of you, I grew up with books. In school, I finished my work as quickly as possible so I could get back to my stories. On weekends, I read multiple books (unless I was reading a fat fantasy) and any time I had down time, I was reading. I remember a couple of days when I worked as an elementary school librarian. I was reading the Hallows series by Kim Harrison, and I literally hid behind the circulation desk, finishing “just one more chapter” because I was so hooked by the story.
I even felt guilty because my emotions were so strongly invested into fictional characters’ lives. Something had to have been wrong with me because I wasn’t as emotionally invested in the real world.
How did I lose that passion? That love for reading? How can I go days, weeks, even months without reading more than a sentence or two of a book, then deciding to go to sleep instead of learning what happens next?
I have a few theories. The steep decline in my reading occurred in 2011, the year:
My first book was published. Perhaps become a writer has made me too picky? Perhaps having control of my characters’ lives makes me want to have control over other author’s characters, and I can’t handle not being their creator? Perhaps I don’t read because I feel so guilty about not writing faster?
I had twins. I will admit a large amount of my mind and my creative energy is consumed by them. They’re getting older and easier, but I still try to find ways to take care of them and teach them. I am so lacking in mom skills and ideas that I frequently get lost on Pinterest. And then, at the end of the day when they’re in bed and I could be reading, all I want to do is go to sleep.
I started reading ebooks instead of paper. Does this have an affect on my reading? It seems like it could. Maybe, subconsciously, my brain doesn’t connect with digital as much as it connected with paper.
I got an iphone. I’m not sure when this happened, but it was around 2011, and I’ve started reading blogs, emails, news, Pinterest, etc on my phone. And I played Candy Crush. The digital books that I’ve read have all been on my iphone because I always have it with me. Maybe all the other activities I do on my phone take away from my willingness to stare at it any longer to read.
And maybe the reason I’ve stopped reading is a combination of all the things above. I’ve just had so much trouble “getting into” books, and after so many tries of different stories by different authors in different genres, it can’t be the books. It has to be me.
I hate not reading. And it’s especially bad because I’m an author, and I truly, honestly believe the most important thing an author can do to improve his or her craft is to read. It’s a requirement of this job, and I’m sucking at it.
But I’m not giving up. I’m going to fix this. I’m going to find my love of reading again. I’m going to:
1. Switch back to print books.
2. Set aside 30 minutes (or more if I’m hooked!) every day to read, no matter how good or bad my writing is going.
3. No more iphone in front of the kids. Only print books. This is better parenting anyway.
4. Check Pinterest only once twice three times a day.
5. Delete Candy Crush. (Already done. Take that level 305!)
Have you ever lost your love of reading? Do you know why? How did you fix it?
Sandy, I lost my passion for reading when I developed (acquired?) depression. Have you considered getting screened?
Also – that’s “effect,” not “affect.” :-p Sorry! I’m a grammar nazi!
I know that’s one of the reasons I didn’t read when I was pregnant – severe depression. Only I didn’t know I was depressed at the time. I don’t THINK I’m depressed now, but if I am, I won’t know it until later. lol
Re: “effect” vs “affect” I despise those two words. I always have to look up the rule to know which one to use, and I finally just stopped looking because I hate taking the time to do it. For some reason, I just can’t remember the rule, so I always default to “affect”. I probably shouldn’t be so lazy but… well, I am. 🙂
Yeah, the first time you are depressed, you don’t know it – you just live in this fog that you don’t understand. Later I began to recognize the symptoms and signs, and to take steps to get help (medication mostly). It doesn’t sneak up on me any more. 😕
It’s funny that you both experienced a lack of reading due to depression. It’s actually how I found reading again. Reading makes itsSo easy to disengage from your reality and get lost in a totally different world. Also, reading seems to be one of those things that is never thought of negatively. The woman sitting at the park on her cell phone instead of watching her kids play gets judged. The woman reading the book though, she gets called a voracious reader and told what a great example she is setting for her kids by reading in front of them.
I now limit myself to two books a week. Any more than that and I need to sit back and evaluate if I’m slipping back into depression or just found a really good series!
It seems like a depression should send people into reading more. I guess it just depends on what’s going on in a person’s life?
And that’s a really good point about the cell phone vs the book. For all we know, that lady on her cell phone COULD be reading a book, but it does look worse.
Also, maybe that’s why I don’t read during the day. My kids are too crazy for me to keep my attention off of them for more than a sentence!
I found that when I entered the working world full time, my reading time decreased significantly. I’ve tried combating this with listening to my books when I’m in the car or doing chores around the house. It helps a lot. I also find my chores less tedious. But nothing is better then a quiet room, a favorite beverage, and the time to ” slow” read a book with my actual eyes.
It’s hard for me to get into audiobooks. I keep trying, but I’m super picky about narrators, and nonfiction/memoirs tend to work better for me. Plus, I don’t drive to work. It does help with the chores, though!
I actually hate live people narration, too. I don’t like the inflections they give to the written word. I use the Kindle Text-to-Speech option. It’s robotic at first, and a little hard to get used to, but it’s easier for me to listen to.